tuesdays with matty

tuesday. tuuuuesday. there's a 'liquid u' in that word. it's haunted me for 5 years now thanks to some foreign guy named lev learning to speak english - don't ask, don't tell.

oh wait, that doesn't exist anymore - dang! ok, so i should tell you. so this guy, lev, was finding his way through the pronounciation of our colorful language and for some reason the word 'tuesday' stuck out and when my esl teacher "friend" (seriously don't ask, don't tell) told me about him saying, 'tuuuuuuuesday' over and over, it just never left my brain. never has a day of the week infected my mind before (though when 'x-files' used to be on friday nights, that was a big deal...)

but i digress...

'tuesdays with morrie' was a sweet book. and a sappy movie starring jack lemmon. and i think i will borrow the conceit and bring all my faithful followers (now at 4!) portions of pansophy on a weekly basis. after all, what's the point of writing all this down if you, my dearies, can't take something away from it.

so here's my first worldly lesson that should be duly noted - when giving gifts to loved ones, it's always best to have partially used it yourself already. for example, my dear friend coog recently reminded me of a package i once sent her for her birthday. amongst the treasures she received was a mad libs book and as she flipped through the pages, she saw that i had already filled in some of the blanks. her initial reaction was, "matt, you gave me a half-used mad libs book that you probably found under your bed." and she was right, BUT, my counter argument was that i gave that used book to her (a plethora of adjectives, nouns and verbs already filling out fantastical sentences) in the hopes that she would finish the remaining blanks, so that we essentially worked on it together - our two minds would have created some amazingly funny one-liners, for sure, and, since she was living on the other side of the country, it would be like we were there side-by-side doling out words like 'munificent' or 'prismatic' or 'bum'. i mean, you get it, right? a sweet gesture under the umbrella of friendship.

well, needless to say, my following birthday i received a half-roll of toilet paper with a note attached: "happy birthday, matt! everytime you pillage and plunder the john, it will be like i'm right there, sharing the experience with you. and don't worry, you'll come across some used sections of tp, but think of them as adjectives and pronouns."

it truly was the best gift ever. clearly my lesson had reached through to her.

and i still have it. under my bed.