it's been awhile

2 months since my last post. and what pray tell has happened in those 2 months?

mostly that whole heart's-broken-and-she-isn't-coming-back-to-me-like-i-foolishly-wished-for thing. that stuff eats away your soul. lord almighty. i did write two songs that i think are actually my two strongest ever come out of this whole experience, so that's a silver lining, right?

what just kills me is this whole facebook thing - i did finally de-friend her because otherwise my mind would have just spontaneously combusted if i looked at her profile one more time. seeing every status update, where she's been, who she's hanging out with. ugh. it just got to be too much and i felt like a dumb oaf for doing it. when her relationship status changed to include mr.-i'm-everything-matt's-not i knew i had to end it. so after 5 beers i took the necessary actions and bid adieu.

it still drives me crazy. it's hard to imagine a time pre-facebook when relationships ended and you had no way of checking up on someone unless you actually called them. ignorance was bliss. nowadays ignorance is hard to achieve since there are very easy ways of cyber-stalking. not that i'm cyber-stalking. i'm over that. now i'm just left alone with my imagination (which can almost be worse than the real thing).

luckily the world will end in 2012 so i don't have to mope for too much longer. what's one more year knowing i lost the best thing i had? it'll fly by. for sure.

ideally a hand is going to pop out of my screen here and slap me for going on and on about all this. i just need a good smack, because, really, enough's enough, right?


right?