true grit, indeed

just got off the phone. and then took my deep breath for the day. yes, that deep breath. and then i took a second one cause i really needed it.

this isn't going to be easy. but that's not surprising. according to an aries overview for 2011, "The theme of hard work continues when it comes to relationships. You've learned the hard way that this doesn't mean sacrificing your needs or denying your true self. No longer is the name of the game about pleasing the other at the expense of losing yourself or vice versa. In fact, games are off. Honesty truly counts and is essential for preserving the integrity of your relationships."

so i'm working on that honesty thing and hoping that the results reflect that. it's a daily struggle, of course. when isn't it? but with the turning of a new year, i find it refreshing that i've been given a chance to right some wrongs and fix what was broken. you know, i've never been a great predictor of the future but i can't help but think this will all turn out just as i imagine. in a good way. i've been told i have a fanciful imagination, but this is more real than any silly fantasy i could conjure up. and so i'm ready...

and if i'm completely mistaken and everything falls apart, then there's always that empty crag in that lonely mountain side, somewhere in the deep abyss of a new england wood where i will bide my time in sweet solitude.

perhaps i'll learn to whittle.